How To Spot A Teenager!

You know you have a teenage boy in the house when:

1. He suggests a world Marmite drinking contest.

2. He cannot understand you when you ask him to turn down his music. He can’t actually hear you and your pained expression and bleeding ears offer him no clue. To him it’s “not THAT loud”. If he deigns to turn it down it will be, begrudgingly, one notch and will be turned up again as soon as you are downstairs.

3. He turns the radio off/switches channels/tuts a lot when you are driving.

4. You find Pot Noodles/Cup-A-Soups in your shopping trolley and no matter how many times you refill the cupboards they will be empty again the next morning.

5. 10.30am is apparently the middle of the night and he should not be expected to get up or do anything for at least another two hours.

6. It is YOU who has lost his rugby shirt/school journal/socks NOT him. If he has no socks to wear (there is a sock theme developing on this blog!) it is your fault rather than that he has strewn them liberally around his bedroom instead of dropping them into the laundry basket.

7. His shoes are way bigger than yours. He pats you on the head and when you cuddle him it is your head resting against his neck rather than the other way round.

8. You start interpreting his grunts for your husband who seems incapable of deciphering it himself. You start editing your translation so that the words are acceptable to grown up ears.

9. You can’t get in the bathroom in the morning.

10. You start glowering at any teenage girl who dares to look at your boy because none of them, absolutely NONE of them, are good enough for him.

Any more to add to this list?!


Filed under family life

29 responses to “How To Spot A Teenager!

  1. What about when you walk past an open sewer and still think that the smell isn’t as bad as your teenagers bedroom? Not that I am talking about my teen years…

  2. Michelle (Utterlyscrummy)

    I don’t have teenagers yet, my turn will come though. Thanks for the warning! LOL

  3. Bet you had to translate for your hubby when your boy was learning to talk tooπŸ™‚

  4. Oh my I have all this to come and boys who will be teens a year apart!

  5. A loaf of bread that previously could have feed a small village in eastern Europe for a week is considered an afternoon snack by Son.

    I have not been able to find a set of earrings, shoes, clothes, socks for just over two years now. (teenage daughter)

    The toastie machine is the most used item in the kitchen!

    It takes the threat of impending exams to get my Son to tidy his room (and therefore not study!)

  6. Fuuuuunny!
    (at least, for another 9 yrs then you can read mine and be smug.)πŸ˜‰ x

  7. One I would add is that when his friends come to visit there is no room anywhere! Fun post Chris!

  8. You know, that got me thinking back to my own teenage years… grunts (tick), music (tick), missing laundry (tick). But Bathroom? You can’t get into the bathroom in the morning?

    Tell your son he isn’t really trying…πŸ˜‰

    • It’s more about vertically growing hair! We are all big haired people, it doesn’t grow downwards just up and out! I bet you cared how you looked to those teenage girls you had just noticed!πŸ˜‰

  9. I love number 7, I can just imagine it. So sweet.

  10. Ooh I hate the head ruffling and patting. I also hate the overwhelming fug of deodorant (that they spray on in lieu of bathing as they’ve no time now they’ve spent half an hour poncing about with their hair). We have the same sock problem – I went and got a ton of them in Primark but there’s still never any clean ones (and of course it’s my fault).

  11. Oh I can so relate to this post. You really do need to join Mad Manic Mamas (I’ve put a couple of posts on there too).
    The not getting up until midday, the grunts and the constant switching of my kitchen radio to HIS channel, which he then leaves on five minutes later as he leaves the room.
    The hair thing – I have to straighten his hair every morning before school because he wants it a certain way and can’t do it himself!
    But God do I love him to bits xx

  12. Deb

    OMG, nodding vigorously to no 3,6,7, and 9.
    I only have to *think* about leaving the room and the radio station is changed to Radio 1 and then he leaves! Apparently Radio 2 is uncool. Like Twitter.

    They are also so lovely that it takes your breath away. Mine cooked tea last night, totally out of the blue. They are special, those teens.

  13. Try this for size…

    You forget to mention being able to see a huge amount of underpants above trousers. Seriously is that supposed to be cool?
    And that “clearly I am revising!” when they have a book open on their lap in fornt of the TV. I am taking out the fuse on his TV this week claiming it to be broken and unmendable until after the exams

  14. saz

    another suitable post for MMM blog l think!!

    saz x (FFF & MMM)

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